It is only a matter of weeks now before my publisher calls me for a meeting to see how i have progressed with my writing. The reality is...i haven't progressed. I am still stuck on the same page in the same place where i have been for nearly two months. All is not lost though my friends as i may have saved my own skin by switching stories. I know this sounds bad but the publisher didn't know exactly what i was writing and so i can switch manuscripts from the original to one i started a long long time ago before i secured a book deal.

I decided to add some more to the older manuscript in an attempt to clear my writers block. It kind of worked and i went on a massive roll with the older story. Now I'm thinking i can over take my original story with this one and submit that to the publishers. I'm not breaking and rules or laws so it's fine. In the back of my mind i always felt that this older story was much better and now I'm enjoying writing again so it feels right that this should be the one i hand over and hopefully have on the shelves of Waterstones in the near future!

A bit of good news for once! I went to the hospital today about the issue with my eye that i mentioned in my last post. I had a vision test and passed that 100% then spoke to a doctor. They did a quick test and said they could solve the problem with ease and that there was no need for a major operation. I was so happy to hear that it is only a small thing they have to do.

The only problem is they said they could do it there and then or i could book and have it done another time. I was a bit pressed for time as i was seen late so i opted to book it for another date, this backfired. Seems the hospital is fully booked till October!

I can't complain though as it is a huge weight off my shoulders!

Also i'd like to thank everyone that has expressed their concern! Means a lot guys!

I havent had a whole lot of time for Newgrounds, or the internet in general recentley as i have had a bit of pressure put on me by my publishing agent. As some of you may know i write short stories and have done for many years now. Recentley a friend read some of my work and said i really should look into publishing, i wasn't sure but thought "what the hell" i havent got anything to lose so i looked around and came across a good agencey and applied.

To my surprise they agreed to publish some of my work and were really into my stuff. So i told them the outline to a new Sci-Fi/Thriller novel i had going and we agreed that this would be what they would publish.

They got me a deal with Waterstones, a artist for the covers and acess to editors!. I couldent ask for much more. I got writing and really got into it but then it started to go downhill a little. I have hit a wall and everything i write now i re-do a hundred times and i still feel it sounds rushed. I cant get any new fresh ideas to add to the story so I'm throwing in old cliches. I have to have something solid in six weeks for my next meeting with the publisher or im in trouble.

I have a lot riding on this book deal and now is not a good time to have writers block! I keep reading through the pages i have already finished and i hate everything i have written, i know i shouldent hate my own work but i just cant see it being any good. I have given copies of what i have so far to only the closest friends and family and they all say it is great and that i should carry on, but i always think people say that because they dont want to upset you. Like when your draw a crappy picture as a kid and your parents tell you it's amazing and put it on the fridge knowing that it's just a bunch of scribbles in different colour pens!

With everyday the meeting draws nearer and even though i dont need the book finished i need at least 80% done and i am only at around 60%. This panic's me and because I'm paniced i feel whatever i write is rushed and just simple poor writing. I really want this to work but it feels so different to when i started the project. At the beginning it was fun and i had everything in my head and just wrote it down. Now i just sit staring at a blank page on my laptop waiting for something to pop into my head. I push myself to write and that shouldent be the way it happens.

I should be writng this book because i want to and because i think i have a good story too tell. It just feels like a chore sometimes. I look everywhere for inspiration but find nothing. I have been watching movie after movie for a spark but nothing comes. I feel i want to just delete the file but i know i cant.

I know when this is done and the book is written, edited and ready for sale that i will look back on this and laugh. It's just getting to that point that's the hard part. I guess nothing good is gained without a little hardship along the way.

With that out of the way i also have something else on my mind. Now i know NG is not the most caring of communities and if i get bad comments i dont care as they can be deleted. I have a issue with my left eye, i wont go into details but i need to see a specialist at the hospital on the 24th of this month. Anyone who knows me knows that i have a huge fear of hospitals and have been in and out of them a lot the last few months due to a major foot injury. So just when i thought i was done with the places, life slaps me again and sends me back.

I'm scared of what the doctors are going to say, one of my biggest fears in life (besides hospitals) is losing my sight, so when i found out i had a problem with my eye i freaked out. My dear old mum knows someone who's neice had the same issue and all that she had was a small op and it was fine so in the back of my mind i know that there is very little to worry about but i can't help but feel sick when i think about it.

I hope when i next post i will have better news, but untill then i guess i just have to wait and see.

So yesterday i hit the grand old age of 21! I had a great day with my family and a fantastic day with Claire on Thursday. Corey from the Paranormal club was kind enough to send me a birthday wish both here and on Myspace as well as some others! Overall a good birthday this year.

So playr TV asked people in the know what console would have the best 2008. Most said the Xbox 360 and the Wii in a close second. I have to agree, i cant see anything the PS3 does this year will take it to the number one spot. The 360 has upcoming games such as Halo Wars, Gears of War 2, Fable 2 to name juist 3. The Wii has also got some great games lined including, We Love Golf, We Ski, Super Smash Bros Brawl (EUR) and with the Wii board already being used for other games there is a huge drawing board for the gadet to used in futre games (like We Ski) including snowboarding, skateboarding or surfing.

All the PS3 seems to offer is Killzone 2 , Motorstorm 2 and MGS4. While these games look great i cant see them doing enough to carry the Playstation higher up the board mainly due to the price of the machine which is still pretty high. With Xbox's upcoming titles and its ever expanding Live service, and the Wii's potential and also growing online service (WiiWare for one) it looks grim for the PS3 as it only has a few games to rely on. Sony need to drop the price and offer a lot more in the way of online services in they are to compete.

God damn it! Last year i seriously injured my ankle/foot by spraining it in three places, twisting a ligerment and dislodging bones in three of my toes. After months of light excercise, x-rays and pills i thought i was on the mend. My last scan told the doctors that it had healed almost completely. So yesterday morning i got up early (6am) and decided to go jogging like i was advised to build my ankle's strength back up.

Everything was going well on the jog itself, i had a twinge or two but that was too be expected. An hour or two after the jog and back at home i got up off my bed and the worst pain shot round my foot and now i can barely walk again. After so many months of hard work getting it back to normal it's frustrating to have it all thrown away! I have now coated it in funky smelling gel and strapped it back up and am currently stuck on my bed ranting via NG. Not happy!!

If like myself you have been gaming for many years I'm sure you'll have some great memories of the good old days.

I'm talking about the days of Playstation, N64, Dreamcast, and PS2. I thought I'd jot down some thought on the good old days of gaming before everything had to be online.
Most of my gaming memories come from my school days playing with friends or challenging other kids in the class. One game that sticks out in my mind is Metal Gear Solid, me and my best friend at the time bunked off school, stocked up on snacks and drink and spent the entire day playing it (remember you had to switch the controller port to beat that one guy?) and completed it twice. Another great game was Fighting Force on the Playstation. This was one of the first games where i discovered how cool co-op modes could be. The ability to rip a bar off the wall and beat a bad guy to a pulp with it amazed me but it seems like nothing in today's games.
Another great game was Premier League Stars, this was the first football game to feature details such as league badges, sponsors and branding on teams shirts. Bloody Roar is also a classic, a great beat u up with the power to transform your fighter into beast form and rip apart your enemy! Bloody Roar 2 was equally as good. Then there was Bushido Blade, a Japanese styled fighting game which featured gore which in the days of the Greystation was pretty impressive. Next up is WWF (WWE) SmackDown! Now that was a great game! Me and my friends would rush home from school and spend hours fighting each other in home made PPV 's (the best feature of the game). When it was announced that SmackDown 2 was to be released we almost died! Myself and friends brought all the Playstaion magazines we could to read the previews of SmackDown2 drooling over the pictures (We were obsessed with wrestling at the time).

After the grey days of the Playstation (which i ended up having to stand on it's side after a while to get it too work) came the Nintendo 64. Ah yes that dark lump of plastic was the nuts at the time! With games like F-Zero X, Bioharvest, Pokemon Stadium, WWF (WWE) No Mercy, Excite Bike and of course the legendary Goldeneye. Oh yes the one and only Goldeneye i cant tell you how many times i completed that game! Amazing game play and great multi player meant for countless all night marathons!

I also have to mention the Dreamcast for two reasons. One, Crazy Taxi. Two, Bass Fishing!. Enough said i think.

Then of course came the PS2. I remember staying at a friends house near Christmas
the year the PS2 was released and he had got his as an early present along with GTA3 , which for years remained my top game. We spent all night on GTA3 almost finished the main storyline! SmackDown 3 hit the shops for PS2 and as you can imagine after reading the above me and my friends were over joyed at the thought of "next gen" wrestling. GTA San Andreas was a game that really blew me away too due to it's sheer size and new game play features.

So there's a few thoughts on the old days of gaming and hopefully maybe one day I'll look back on the 360, Wii and PS3 days with the same fondness

Happy Halloween Newgrounders!

The spare bedroom looks like an ammo dump and im ready to blow the shit out of stuff next Monday! Bring it on!